Head vs. Heart

To say this past semester has been hard would be an understatement of the highest order; I feel like I have come so far but yet backslid so much.. back into darkness, slavery, isolation, and shame. In the midst of trial, when my faith was tested, instead of crying out "Abba! Father! Help my unbelief"; I fled to the captivity of self-reliance, falsely believing I could save myself. Right back into the vicious cycle of work, do, try, push, accomplish, when all the while the banner of the cross screams DONE! 

I have an advocate, a perfect Savior and God who joyfully sent his son for me in the midst of my depravity to redeem me and relinquish me from the burden of striving. I know the truth, and I want the truth to set me free, but I still struggle so much with letting my head dictate what my heart believes...

I say, "I am broken"

You say, "You are repaired"

I say, "I am stupid"

You say, "You are fearfully and wonderfully made" 

I say, "I am worthless"

You say, "You are worthy"

I say, "I am alone"

You say, "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you" 

I say, "I am anxious"

You say, "Be anxious for nothing..."

I say, "I am afraid"

You say, "My perfect Love casts out fear"

I say, " I am burdened"

You say, "I will give you rest"

I say, "I feel trapped"

You say, "You are FREE indeed"

I say, "I feel so faithless"

You say, "I first loved you, faith is not based on feeling. Trust and obey"